think, think, think...
So much to think about with this crazy life I run. Jason and I have both been having some trouble staying modivated with school. I've been thinking about what the point of it all is, and to be honest I'm not so sure. Yeah, yeah, school is good and grand and pointless unless you're going to USE the degree you earn. I've been thinking about it- By the time I finish a degree in four to five years, Jason and I are going to want to start a family if we haven't already. So I won't be able to jump into the workforce. Since Jason and I were both latch-key children, we've decided that our children WON'T be that way. I would stay home if we had a baby. For quite a while, needless to say. So after all that time my knowledge in the field will be outdated, and there won't really be a place for me, if I decide to go back to work. So point of school being?... That I could support us in the case that Jason can't? True. But am I not doing that already, without the hassel of more schooling? I could be making more, sure. But this is only a worse case situation with me in work at all.
It just seems so frustrating when I have to be a full time student, truly focused on school, AND a full time employee, truly focused on my 40 hour a week job. Not to mention, wife.
So why am I doing this again?
What is it I'm trying to accomplish?
What is it I'm really wanting?
Sometimes I feel like my schooling is just to please others. My sisters, that never finished school until after they had children. My parents, Jason's parents. Everyone else in the world. But none of THEM have to do what I am. None of them have to figure out how to function all day 6 days a week at work AND school. But boy do they want me to!
It's just so much to do. So much to think about.
I don't mind going to school, or having a degree. But what I really want is a family. A chance to be at home with my children. Of course we can't start a family until Jason can support us fully on his own, which would likely require a degree. Fine. So I have some time. No worries. I'm happy to work on my PHT (Putting Hubby Through) and work. But where does me going to school fit in other than to make my life insane?
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Saturday, October 24, 2009
The best part of Halloween is...
knowing Christmas is just around the corner! I least I think it is, anyway. Halloween has never been my favorite holiday. I hate being scared. Why would anyone want to celebrate a negative feeling like fear? Then there's always the hassle of "what should I dress up as?" "Where am I going to get the money to pay for candy for all the kids that come knocking on my door?" It's beyond me. But people still do it. Every year. October 31st rolls around and everyone goes nuts. Just like the people at my work. They do something called "spooking" where we draw names and decorate each others desks with spider webs and candy. I decided to go with it. How bad could it be? When I went shopping for the decor, I found out! I really HATE Halloween. I found nothing worth buying-- nothing I wanted to put on someone elses desk. I bought their favorite candies and decided to take a stand. Instead of buying all the blood stained junk on the shelves I went home and dug out my 6 or 7 boxes labeled "Christmas". I found some red ornaments, some shiny ribbon, a pretty wreath, and other cute snowy, cheerful knickknacks that I wouldn't be too devastated to loose. I made my co-worker a sign to put on her computer monitor, "The best part of Halloween is knowing Christmas is just around the corner!" and cut out snowflakes and hung them from the ceiling. Everyone that saw it had an opinion. I didn't really care. I thought it was cute. At least she can say her desk didn't look like anyone else's!
It feels like so much has happened since I wrote last and yet I don't feel like I have much to write about! That tells you how boring I am. :P
My Mom and Dad are out of town this week and our lives already seem a bit quieter... except that they left their puppy with us! We love little Daisi. She has been having a lovely time playing with my Bandit and putting toys everywhere. She likes to get up early (because my Dad does), and that's been a much better alarm then any others I've ever had! It's been way fun watching two puppies! We took her to the Syracuse Nature Park yesterday and let her chase all the birds. She thought that was the best game! "Live action" toys never get boring to a little puppy! Maybe we should all take some advice from that and remember how great everything is, even when everything sucks!
My sister, Wendi, is so amazing. I've been really wanting to loose some weight and improve myself lately. I've been steadily putting on more and more until now-- I can barely fit into anything I own. Even my "fat" clothes! I've had enough. Time for a change. I've been looking into this plan and that plan, and trying everything. I'm sick of things that don't work. My mother in law is on Weight Watchers. She's lost over 70 pounds! I seen several people succeed on it, and I knew that's what I wanted to try. My mom looked into it, as did Wendi and her husband James. It's 40 dollars a month, which was a bit pricey for a poor newly wed like myself. So Wendi offered to get it for me as a birthday gift. I was so excited!! Since I started I've dropped 3 pounds and I'm more and more aware of everything I put in my mouth. I'm amazed at how unhealthy my habits have become. Hopefully this will be a good way to change those habits, to change my life for good. What's even better is that everyone else is on it with me!! Mom, James, Wendi and of course, Jason's mom! My Dad is doing something similar, which is way cool. It's so fun to say, "Hey, how are you doing on your points today?" :) Support is always so great! Next we're looking into work out programs. I really struggle working out in the winter. It's always so cold when you get up early, or try to do anything outside! My sister is considering doing lap swimming early in the morning. I think that sounds nice and warm- not to mention a full body workout!! Maybe Jason would be willing to come with me! He likes to swim. We'll see how that goes, and if I can fit it in with work and school both full time!
Jason and I had some fun this past week for "fall break". Weber didn't have classes for a Friday, and Jason and I get three paychecks this month-- all of these facts put together gave me a wave of revelation on Thursday night after work. I bought a lovely "wifey outfit" and kidnapped my husband! I told him I had a surprise for him and drove to Maverick. I picked up a half a tank of gas and a men's travel kit (since I "forgot to mention" we were staying over night somewhere...) with a toothbrush and shampoo. Then I took a very round about way to the Alaskan Inn. They gave me a great deal on a room since I didn't book it until 9pm! Jason was shocked... but pleased I think. It was so nice to just "get away" and not stress over anything for a few hours. We stayed in the Northern Lights room and enjoyed a manly action movie together. It was difficult to get up the next morning and come back to the real world. Sometimes I think all the stress of our lives makes everything more difficult, including our relationship. I really try to not let it get too strained by doing some fun things like this. Two or three weeks ago I even covered Jason's computer desk in green sticky notes that said things like. "The force is strong with this one" and "Bonni + Jason = <3". It was fun.
Well, that's my story. Tonight Jason and I are going on a double date with his parents, so I've got to finish up my work day and get all prettied up!
It feels like so much has happened since I wrote last and yet I don't feel like I have much to write about! That tells you how boring I am. :P
My Mom and Dad are out of town this week and our lives already seem a bit quieter... except that they left their puppy with us! We love little Daisi. She has been having a lovely time playing with my Bandit and putting toys everywhere. She likes to get up early (because my Dad does), and that's been a much better alarm then any others I've ever had! It's been way fun watching two puppies! We took her to the Syracuse Nature Park yesterday and let her chase all the birds. She thought that was the best game! "Live action" toys never get boring to a little puppy! Maybe we should all take some advice from that and remember how great everything is, even when everything sucks!
My sister, Wendi, is so amazing. I've been really wanting to loose some weight and improve myself lately. I've been steadily putting on more and more until now-- I can barely fit into anything I own. Even my "fat" clothes! I've had enough. Time for a change. I've been looking into this plan and that plan, and trying everything. I'm sick of things that don't work. My mother in law is on Weight Watchers. She's lost over 70 pounds! I seen several people succeed on it, and I knew that's what I wanted to try. My mom looked into it, as did Wendi and her husband James. It's 40 dollars a month, which was a bit pricey for a poor newly wed like myself. So Wendi offered to get it for me as a birthday gift. I was so excited!! Since I started I've dropped 3 pounds and I'm more and more aware of everything I put in my mouth. I'm amazed at how unhealthy my habits have become. Hopefully this will be a good way to change those habits, to change my life for good. What's even better is that everyone else is on it with me!! Mom, James, Wendi and of course, Jason's mom! My Dad is doing something similar, which is way cool. It's so fun to say, "Hey, how are you doing on your points today?" :) Support is always so great! Next we're looking into work out programs. I really struggle working out in the winter. It's always so cold when you get up early, or try to do anything outside! My sister is considering doing lap swimming early in the morning. I think that sounds nice and warm- not to mention a full body workout!! Maybe Jason would be willing to come with me! He likes to swim. We'll see how that goes, and if I can fit it in with work and school both full time!
Jason and I had some fun this past week for "fall break". Weber didn't have classes for a Friday, and Jason and I get three paychecks this month-- all of these facts put together gave me a wave of revelation on Thursday night after work. I bought a lovely "wifey outfit" and kidnapped my husband! I told him I had a surprise for him and drove to Maverick. I picked up a half a tank of gas and a men's travel kit (since I "forgot to mention" we were staying over night somewhere...) with a toothbrush and shampoo. Then I took a very round about way to the Alaskan Inn. They gave me a great deal on a room since I didn't book it until 9pm! Jason was shocked... but pleased I think. It was so nice to just "get away" and not stress over anything for a few hours. We stayed in the Northern Lights room and enjoyed a manly action movie together. It was difficult to get up the next morning and come back to the real world. Sometimes I think all the stress of our lives makes everything more difficult, including our relationship. I really try to not let it get too strained by doing some fun things like this. Two or three weeks ago I even covered Jason's computer desk in green sticky notes that said things like. "The force is strong with this one" and "Bonni + Jason = <3". It was fun.
Well, that's my story. Tonight Jason and I are going on a double date with his parents, so I've got to finish up my work day and get all prettied up!
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Tuesdays... Or is it Tuesdaies?
Whats up, ya'll? Life is just so crazy now days, but totally worth it! Jason and I keep busy, schooling, working, dating with other couples, and playing full time with our puppy. It's amazing how much time has passed. On Thursday we will have been married for three months. It's going so fast! I'm not even going to see our anniversary coming before it hits me on the head! We ought to start planning something! We talked about going on a trip just the two of us, since we didn't really get to do that much for our honeymoon. But I guess we'll see how much money we can come up with!!
Jason convinced me to start up with World of Warcraft again. It's been a fun release. Something cheap that we can do together. And besides that, Jason loves it. He's so proud his wife is "nerdy". You should have heard him today talking to another guy, "My wife plays, too! It's so much fun to have her on. She's a night elf." Then on in gibberish that I still don't understand. But it's fun. He offered to try something new for me, too, but I wasn't sure what to have him do! I'm pretty standard when it comes to things I like... any good ideas?
Other than that, life goes on as usual. Jason had a down day when he got turned down by McDonalds this past week. They said he wasn't qualified-- whatever that means. He's been a bit sad. But I've been cheerful and supportive. I tried to explain to him that I don't mind supporting us for now and it won't always be this way. We're going to school and moving forward, even with one more year behind us we'll have more to offer than we do right this second. Things will get better. I'm sure of it.
Speaking of doing better, I got a 97 on one of my tests this past week! I was so excited, because I don't really have tons of time to prepare for tests with my schedule. So I'm always lucky to squeak by with a C+ or B. So, horray for the 97!! Hopefully that will be a trend that continues. I'm not sure exactly what made that test so much easier, but I'll need to figure it out for sure!
Also this last week Jason and I went on a double date with Scott, one of my friends from high school. It was so much fun, even though we only had enough money to buy some ice cream and cones at wal mart! We played Tripoly and Scene It at our apartment and just had a good time laughing. It's so fun to get together with others. I'm really hoping Jason and I can find a group in our new ward, or some friends that are married so we can do that kind of thing on a regular basis. Even if it's cheap. It's fun to be with other couples, I think!!
Then we had conference. It was so wonderful. My Mom was a part of the choir that sang for the RS session. She got us the BEST tickets! My sister Wendi, Cosette (Jason's mom) and Sherilyn (Jason's aunt) all came with me and supported Mom singing. It was so awesome to be there in person and feel the Spirit. I had to work for the Saturday sessions, but I loved the Sunday sessions. It's so amazing to live in a day in age where we can share those kinds of things all across the world without a second thought. I'm excited to get my nephew's (Trenton's) letter to find out what he thought of watching conference in Africa!!
Well another week ahead of us... Yet nothing excited. We DO happen to have three paychecks this month, though... that's always exciting... Hmmmmm....
Jason convinced me to start up with World of Warcraft again. It's been a fun release. Something cheap that we can do together. And besides that, Jason loves it. He's so proud his wife is "nerdy". You should have heard him today talking to another guy, "My wife plays, too! It's so much fun to have her on. She's a night elf." Then on in gibberish that I still don't understand. But it's fun. He offered to try something new for me, too, but I wasn't sure what to have him do! I'm pretty standard when it comes to things I like... any good ideas?
Other than that, life goes on as usual. Jason had a down day when he got turned down by McDonalds this past week. They said he wasn't qualified-- whatever that means. He's been a bit sad. But I've been cheerful and supportive. I tried to explain to him that I don't mind supporting us for now and it won't always be this way. We're going to school and moving forward, even with one more year behind us we'll have more to offer than we do right this second. Things will get better. I'm sure of it.
Speaking of doing better, I got a 97 on one of my tests this past week! I was so excited, because I don't really have tons of time to prepare for tests with my schedule. So I'm always lucky to squeak by with a C+ or B. So, horray for the 97!! Hopefully that will be a trend that continues. I'm not sure exactly what made that test so much easier, but I'll need to figure it out for sure!
Also this last week Jason and I went on a double date with Scott, one of my friends from high school. It was so much fun, even though we only had enough money to buy some ice cream and cones at wal mart! We played Tripoly and Scene It at our apartment and just had a good time laughing. It's so fun to get together with others. I'm really hoping Jason and I can find a group in our new ward, or some friends that are married so we can do that kind of thing on a regular basis. Even if it's cheap. It's fun to be with other couples, I think!!
Then we had conference. It was so wonderful. My Mom was a part of the choir that sang for the RS session. She got us the BEST tickets! My sister Wendi, Cosette (Jason's mom) and Sherilyn (Jason's aunt) all came with me and supported Mom singing. It was so awesome to be there in person and feel the Spirit. I had to work for the Saturday sessions, but I loved the Sunday sessions. It's so amazing to live in a day in age where we can share those kinds of things all across the world without a second thought. I'm excited to get my nephew's (Trenton's) letter to find out what he thought of watching conference in Africa!!
Well another week ahead of us... Yet nothing excited. We DO happen to have three paychecks this month, though... that's always exciting... Hmmmmm....
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