Making Up

The best part of fighting is making up. *smile* Things have been going much better. Jason and I have finally had sometime to ourselves. We talked everything out, found better ways to work on the things we need to get done. He's been very understanding about the stress I've been under with the wedding planning. He recommended that we take a bit of a break and schedule ourselves a little better. That way it's not all crammed in to a short time frame. We do have plenty of time to get everything done, still three full months. He also offered to help a bit more. He's so wonderful. We also set some goals for his job search. He seems more confident and focused, which certainly helps.Hopefully things will go a bit faster with some of the new guidelines we discussed. It's so nice to get things worked out.

Other than that, today has been a lovely day. I worked, but it was really slow. Nothing too intense. Right after work Jason and I ran to take Bandit to his vet appointment. Just regular shots and a check up. While we were in the waiting room, we saw a couple leave that was very upset. The man carried out a leash... and no dog. After they were gone, the nurse carried out the dog they had put down. I really tried to prepare myself and not look, but it seemed automatic. They had a sheet over its head, but I still wanted to cry. I hugged Bandit until it was our turn fifteen minutes later. I'm grateful I don't need to go through anything like that just yet. I don't know if I could take it. Luckily I didn't have much longer to think about it, because Bandit's appointment took all my attention. It went well, for a first time. Bandit was so nervous, but he seemed okay once he trusted the nurse. He never did warm up to the vet very well... He's very healthy, thank heavens. Papillions generally don't weigh over 10 pounds, but Bandit weighs 14. The vet said he's just built big for his breed and he's not over weight. He runs around like mad, so I can't see how he possibly could be. Silly puppy...

After that we all went for a walk together as a family. It was perfect weather, not too hot or cold, maybe just a bit windy. We went to Steed Park, somewhere new for us. Bandit always enjoys the new smells and sounds. Jason and I talked about wedding plans and our future together. It was so wonderful to hear about our goals for a family and our lives. It's nice just to be best friends, as well as lovers. We walked for over an hour and Bandit loved it. Jason and I loved it too, but we were sore afterwards. I don't think we'll ever wear Bandit out!

What a wonderful Saturday.

Jason and I did make up a bit last night. He came over and we talked a few things out. But today things just seem to have gotten worse between us, as if last night didn't happen at all. Please keep us in your prayers.

It's been a very frustrating day. I got some things done, but not like I wanted. I got to go to lunch with my mom and sister. That turned out okay. After that, Jason and I got together. We stopped at Syracuse Community Center to find out about the Jensen Nature Park Visitors Center. $500 for the entire day, 6am to midnight. I didn't think it was too badly priced, for a wedding. The only thing about it is it's small. Only 77 people allowed in the building at a time. That shouldn't be a problem for the ceremony, but I'm not sure what to do about the reception. They said we're allowed to set up things outside, though, so maybe that would work. Just serve everyone inside, hand them a cake and set them out. Hopefully, in July the evening will be nice. The other thing is tables. They have 10 long tables and 77 chairs to use. That works for serving and displays, but for guests to eat on? I don't know... that seems a bit uncomfortable for a reception. Round tables seem more traditional. I guess we'll see. After all that Jason and I took Bandit to petsmart to get him groomed. They did so well- tubing, brushing, clipping the toe nails, brushing the teeth. It was wonderful. He feels so soft and lovely. They were also very kind to Jason and I. During the time Bandit was in, Jason and I shopped. We got him signed up for the next training classes, (whoo!) and we also cruised the mall. It was fun for a while. We ended up in the Lovesac store. Jason and I have wanted a movie lounger for quite a while. Of course, the prices are all going up now. The manager in the store was wonderful to work with, he seemed very flexible. Our problem is money. Always the money. Jason still doesn't have a job, and my tax return seems to be paying for everything. I really have been trying to be positive and supportive to my sweet Jason. But today on the way home I lost it. I was so upset about everything. We just have so much we want, things that we've decided on for the next four months. How are we going to do it all on just my salary? A new ring for me, a honeymoon, an apartment... all hundreds of dollars a piece. Where does that all come from? I wish I knew. Jason has been playing WOW so much, three nights a week, and that's been crawling under my skin. Between it all, we didn't part on very good terms. Once Jason told me if I ever felt mistreated to tell him "I'm not feeling very much like a princess". So, I texted him that. He replied, "You're not acting like one, either." I cried. Since then, I've been truly considering canceling the wedding. I don't deserve to be mistreated like that. I know he's under a lot of stress. Who wouldn't be in his position? But mistreating me with that stress is unacceptable. What would happen when we have children and the stress is worse? I love him, without a doubt. But what to do? ...

Chillin'

It's been a pretty good start to the week. I worked in the drive thru yesterday. That's my favorite. You certainly keep busy there and that helps the day go by faster. It's also fun to get a chance to talk to your coworkers. I'm off today and tomorrow. Today I just ran all day. I reserved our wedding cake (officially) and gave her the ribbon Jason picked out. It's nice to get everything going. We also went down and bought Jason's wedding ring. It's so lovely. It fits him, his personality, perfectly. I'm so happy we actually found one he liked!! I feel like we had to search everywhere! So, that's done and hiding in my jewelery box until July. Jason and I went out to lunch at Iggy's. That was so yummy! We also looked at Layton Meadows Apartments. I've always liked them, the central location, the allowing of pets, the walking distance to my work. Jason seemed to like them as well, so we'll see where that leads. They're running a special on one bedrooms if you move in by Saturday. $80 less a month for rent. I wish we were ready, that Jason had a job and we could get in on that. But oh, well... Waiting for July wouldn't be bad, either. It's all good. After all that Jason went home to raid on WOW and I started Spring Cleaning. I got my bedroom done, but I still have a ways to go before I'm done. Bandit keeps watching me like I'm crazy for sorting through every single piece of paper I own. "What a waste of time, Momma... Why don't we just play instead?"... He's so wonderful. My perfect baby boy!

Busy Weekend

It certainly has been crazy the last few days. Thursday I took teller test four, the last test I need to get my level (pay raise). I didn't pass, but just barely. We reviewed everything right after though, and that helped. I felt so bad, because I changed my answers on over half of the questions I got wrong!! Silly Bonni... I get to take it again next Thursday. Now that I know a bit more about what to expect, it should go much smoother. So that didn't turn out too bad. Friday was my day off. Jason and I spent the day together planning more wedding things. His parents bought us lunch. That was sweet. After that we got to meet with our cake lady. She is so awesome. I'm glad we picked her! We're getting a 3 layer white cake with raspberry filling and cream cheese frosting. It's going to be decorated in blue and white (of course, our happy wedding colors!) with red rose petals to surround it. Just the perfect "patriotic touch" for a July wedding. Then I decided, since it was payday, that I wanted to go shopping. We went to Walmart to spend a little. We actually ended up with centerpieces that we both loved for our reception. It's funny, because I've always been set on real flowers for everything, but Jason can even make fake flowers look good! It was awesome to get his ideas and my ideas in the same place. We bought those, just to check something else off the list. Jason even recommended that we put them together for our date night this week-- why not get it done and out of the way? I completely agree. :) That will be fun. I also found some work out clothes that I liked. I've been going to the gym quite a bit this week. Today I did the bicycles and my legs hurt so bad!! I'm trying to fit back into my wedding dress! Silly cakes and candies... making me workout. After my trip to the gym and a lovely cold shower, Jason and I got to go to his little brothers' Eagle Court of Honor. It was an amazing program. The bishopric spoke, Jason presented a slide show video (that was BEYOND GREAT!!), and lots of tears were shared. Very touching, all together. Things are really looking like they are coming together for us. His extended family were all very happy to see us and hear of our plans in July. Even his parents took the time to thank me for helping in the kitchen. The only thing is Jason is down to the bottom of the job barrel. He is even going to apply at Lagoon for this summer. He's worked there once before and hated it. But I know that he's willing to see our wedding through, even if it means Lagoon. He's so wonderful.Things have completely improved with him.Yay for moving forward... finally!

Wedding Planning!!

What a fun day off! I slept in until 9:30am. (I must have been a bit behind on sleep!) Then I called my honey to get him up for the day, but surprise!! He'd been up since 6am finishing a project so we could spend the day together. I was so thrilled. What a hunk! I made some appointments with the cake lady and the photographer. Then we left! We went to Aaron's jewelry first to make sure Jason was absolutely sold on the ring we'd picked out.He was, of course, so we ordered it in the right size. It should be ready to go next week. Yay!! Check that off the list. Then we went up Ogden canyon and toured the Alaskan Inn. It was very nice. I'd never been there, but heard wonderful things from my sisters. It's cheaper than the Anniversary Inn that we'd originally picked for our first night together. Not as far... still nice... I'm good. :) We picked a cabin that we both liked. So that will be awesome for July. On the way home we stopped at Sams to get an eat to bite. (ha, ha-- Tom Hanks.) We looked at the ring I had picked out there. We still love it, but how to fit it in an already impossible budget? No clue. We'll find something soon, I hope. After that we had a short meeting with my parents. I got a budget put together last night, so we discussed that and all the wedding plans. It went very well. My parents are just a little concerned with Jason being unemployed. I mean, who isn't? But other than that, they are very supportive and helpful. My dad has commented to me several times that I would be happier married. And you know something, he's right. Then Jason and I went to Salt Lake to meet Brody Dezember, a photographer we liked. He was wonderful to talk to and his work looks lovely. A bit pricey, but certainly worth every cent. The pictures and rings are the only things that go beyond the wedding day. I'm not willing to skimp out on those precious memories. There are two other couples looking at the same date we are, so hopefully we can get him booked this weekend!! (Silly paycheck, come faster!!) It was fun to get everything in order. We meet with the cake lady on Friday, and then it's just coming up with the deposits. Money, money, money. But everything is going to be so lovely. I can't wait!! Jason, I love you!

Happy St. Patricks Day!!

So when I opened my closet this morning I realized I had no green clothes. None. Nothing at all. My mom let me borrow her green shamrock earrings and I wore my class ring. (Thank Heavens for Clearfield High!!) It was pretty sneaky, but I never got pinched! Whoo! Work went very well, today I passed the most difficult test before my next level, teller test 3. I also got called in for a little chat with my branch manager. Opps. Last night I forgot to lock up my cork lock. Big mistake! It didn't go too badly though, just a small chat of how we could fix the problem. My sweet Jason took me out for lunch to celebrate my test. It was so fun to relax for a minute and eat. Last night was a big event for us. Jason and I talked with his parents about getting married. They seemed generally supportive, which is more than we were expecting at this point. They've never really gotten to point of "okay" with our engagement. So, hopefully things will continue to go well there. Jason and I decided not to do the Lion House for the ceremony or luncheon once we talked it over. We decided on something more simple-- skip the luncheon and just have a nice, quiet ceremony then a reception right after. No need to add fluff. Jason and I are just happy to be getting married. We can't wait! We're going to take more recent pictures for sure and I'm going to make my own bouquet. Then just the invites. Not too bad, for trying to keep it inexpensive! It's starting to look like maybe Disneyland will be out of the picture, too... We're going to be lucky to just get into an apartment. But as I said, Jason and I couldn't care less. It's going to be so wonderful to just be together. :) Jason turned in a promising application today that we're hoping to hear back from in two or three days. A job would certainly be a blessing!! Keep us in your prayers!