think, think, think...
So much to think about with this crazy life I run. Jason and I have both been having some trouble staying modivated with school. I've been thinking about what the point of it all is, and to be honest I'm not so sure. Yeah, yeah, school is good and grand and pointless unless you're going to USE the degree you earn. I've been thinking about it- By the time I finish a degree in four to five years, Jason and I are going to want to start a family if we haven't already. So I won't be able to jump into the workforce. Since Jason and I were both latch-key children, we've decided that our children WON'T be that way. I would stay home if we had a baby. For quite a while, needless to say. So after all that time my knowledge in the field will be outdated, and there won't really be a place for me, if I decide to go back to work. So point of school being?... That I could support us in the case that Jason can't? True. But am I not doing that already, without the hassel of more schooling? I could be making more, sure. But this is only a worse case situation with me in work at all.
It just seems so frustrating when I have to be a full time student, truly focused on school, AND a full time employee, truly focused on my 40 hour a week job. Not to mention, wife.
So why am I doing this again?
What is it I'm trying to accomplish?
What is it I'm really wanting?
Sometimes I feel like my schooling is just to please others. My sisters, that never finished school until after they had children. My parents, Jason's parents. Everyone else in the world. But none of THEM have to do what I am. None of them have to figure out how to function all day 6 days a week at work AND school. But boy do they want me to!
It's just so much to do. So much to think about.
I don't mind going to school, or having a degree. But what I really want is a family. A chance to be at home with my children. Of course we can't start a family until Jason can support us fully on his own, which would likely require a degree. Fine. So I have some time. No worries. I'm happy to work on my PHT (Putting Hubby Through) and work. But where does me going to school fit in other than to make my life insane?
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One good reason is because we've been told to "obtain as much education as possible" (D&C 130:18-19). If you have the means to be going to school right now, do it. You can get your degree and be a stay at home mom and work from home. There are lots of options out there. It's going to be stressful starting out, but it will be worth it in the long run. No work place down the road is going to say "Your degree expired". Once you have it, it stays with you. It's hard right now, but it is definitely worth it!! Stick with it, girl!! You can make it!! Just tell yourself "just keep swimming, just keep swimming!". You can do it. Just take it one step at a time and before you know it, you've made it. ;-D
ReplyDeleteI would love to have the money(and health) to be going to school right now. Instead of counting your trials, count your blessings. :-)
ReplyDeleteI understand your pain. I ma also working 50 hours a week if not more and going to school full time. I too want to just be home and be a mom so i feel like i should stop school. But me going to school and doing what the Lord has in store for us has given chase and I more blessings then ever. When I am done with school yes my baby will be about one but then I will be able to work two days a week making just as much if I were to for a full week. The blessings of school are long and far away but what great things then can do for your future.
ReplyDeleteBonnie I used to feel and think exactly like you are right now. I know it feels pointless and really hard, but now that I'm a mom I wish more than anything that I had my degree just so I could be totally finished with school and not keep wondering well when do I have time to do that again? Also with this ever changing economy it would help me to feel like my family is more stable because we would have the ability to rely on two incomes if we had to. Whereas right now all we have between is two High School Diplomas. Maybe you should try cutting back on work,focus on school and if you find that you really miss that added income then take a part time job on campus. Campus jobs are great because they usually don't mind if you study on the job and the pay is decent.Just a thought.
ReplyDeleteI believe that being educated is part of being a parent. There are many statistics that show that more educated mommies make more educated decisions about their children. Also, while staying at home I enjoy going to school part time (online at the moment). Have you considered going to school part time? You only need to go 6 hours to get student grants and loans.
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