Making Up

The best part of fighting is making up. *smile* Things have been going much better. Jason and I have finally had sometime to ourselves. We talked everything out, found better ways to work on the things we need to get done. He's been very understanding about the stress I've been under with the wedding planning. He recommended that we take a bit of a break and schedule ourselves a little better. That way it's not all crammed in to a short time frame. We do have plenty of time to get everything done, still three full months. He also offered to help a bit more. He's so wonderful. We also set some goals for his job search. He seems more confident and focused, which certainly helps.Hopefully things will go a bit faster with some of the new guidelines we discussed. It's so nice to get things worked out.

Other than that, today has been a lovely day. I worked, but it was really slow. Nothing too intense. Right after work Jason and I ran to take Bandit to his vet appointment. Just regular shots and a check up. While we were in the waiting room, we saw a couple leave that was very upset. The man carried out a leash... and no dog. After they were gone, the nurse carried out the dog they had put down. I really tried to prepare myself and not look, but it seemed automatic. They had a sheet over its head, but I still wanted to cry. I hugged Bandit until it was our turn fifteen minutes later. I'm grateful I don't need to go through anything like that just yet. I don't know if I could take it. Luckily I didn't have much longer to think about it, because Bandit's appointment took all my attention. It went well, for a first time. Bandit was so nervous, but he seemed okay once he trusted the nurse. He never did warm up to the vet very well... He's very healthy, thank heavens. Papillions generally don't weigh over 10 pounds, but Bandit weighs 14. The vet said he's just built big for his breed and he's not over weight. He runs around like mad, so I can't see how he possibly could be. Silly puppy...

After that we all went for a walk together as a family. It was perfect weather, not too hot or cold, maybe just a bit windy. We went to Steed Park, somewhere new for us. Bandit always enjoys the new smells and sounds. Jason and I talked about wedding plans and our future together. It was so wonderful to hear about our goals for a family and our lives. It's nice just to be best friends, as well as lovers. We walked for over an hour and Bandit loved it. Jason and I loved it too, but we were sore afterwards. I don't think we'll ever wear Bandit out!

What a wonderful Saturday.

Jason and I did make up a bit last night. He came over and we talked a few things out. But today things just seem to have gotten worse between us, as if last night didn't happen at all. Please keep us in your prayers.

It's been a very frustrating day. I got some things done, but not like I wanted. I got to go to lunch with my mom and sister. That turned out okay. After that, Jason and I got together. We stopped at Syracuse Community Center to find out about the Jensen Nature Park Visitors Center. $500 for the entire day, 6am to midnight. I didn't think it was too badly priced, for a wedding. The only thing about it is it's small. Only 77 people allowed in the building at a time. That shouldn't be a problem for the ceremony, but I'm not sure what to do about the reception. They said we're allowed to set up things outside, though, so maybe that would work. Just serve everyone inside, hand them a cake and set them out. Hopefully, in July the evening will be nice. The other thing is tables. They have 10 long tables and 77 chairs to use. That works for serving and displays, but for guests to eat on? I don't know... that seems a bit uncomfortable for a reception. Round tables seem more traditional. I guess we'll see. After all that Jason and I took Bandit to petsmart to get him groomed. They did so well- tubing, brushing, clipping the toe nails, brushing the teeth. It was wonderful. He feels so soft and lovely. They were also very kind to Jason and I. During the time Bandit was in, Jason and I shopped. We got him signed up for the next training classes, (whoo!) and we also cruised the mall. It was fun for a while. We ended up in the Lovesac store. Jason and I have wanted a movie lounger for quite a while. Of course, the prices are all going up now. The manager in the store was wonderful to work with, he seemed very flexible. Our problem is money. Always the money. Jason still doesn't have a job, and my tax return seems to be paying for everything. I really have been trying to be positive and supportive to my sweet Jason. But today on the way home I lost it. I was so upset about everything. We just have so much we want, things that we've decided on for the next four months. How are we going to do it all on just my salary? A new ring for me, a honeymoon, an apartment... all hundreds of dollars a piece. Where does that all come from? I wish I knew. Jason has been playing WOW so much, three nights a week, and that's been crawling under my skin. Between it all, we didn't part on very good terms. Once Jason told me if I ever felt mistreated to tell him "I'm not feeling very much like a princess". So, I texted him that. He replied, "You're not acting like one, either." I cried. Since then, I've been truly considering canceling the wedding. I don't deserve to be mistreated like that. I know he's under a lot of stress. Who wouldn't be in his position? But mistreating me with that stress is unacceptable. What would happen when we have children and the stress is worse? I love him, without a doubt. But what to do? ...

Chillin'

It's been a pretty good start to the week. I worked in the drive thru yesterday. That's my favorite. You certainly keep busy there and that helps the day go by faster. It's also fun to get a chance to talk to your coworkers. I'm off today and tomorrow. Today I just ran all day. I reserved our wedding cake (officially) and gave her the ribbon Jason picked out. It's nice to get everything going. We also went down and bought Jason's wedding ring. It's so lovely. It fits him, his personality, perfectly. I'm so happy we actually found one he liked!! I feel like we had to search everywhere! So, that's done and hiding in my jewelery box until July. Jason and I went out to lunch at Iggy's. That was so yummy! We also looked at Layton Meadows Apartments. I've always liked them, the central location, the allowing of pets, the walking distance to my work. Jason seemed to like them as well, so we'll see where that leads. They're running a special on one bedrooms if you move in by Saturday. $80 less a month for rent. I wish we were ready, that Jason had a job and we could get in on that. But oh, well... Waiting for July wouldn't be bad, either. It's all good. After all that Jason went home to raid on WOW and I started Spring Cleaning. I got my bedroom done, but I still have a ways to go before I'm done. Bandit keeps watching me like I'm crazy for sorting through every single piece of paper I own. "What a waste of time, Momma... Why don't we just play instead?"... He's so wonderful. My perfect baby boy!

Busy Weekend

It certainly has been crazy the last few days. Thursday I took teller test four, the last test I need to get my level (pay raise). I didn't pass, but just barely. We reviewed everything right after though, and that helped. I felt so bad, because I changed my answers on over half of the questions I got wrong!! Silly Bonni... I get to take it again next Thursday. Now that I know a bit more about what to expect, it should go much smoother. So that didn't turn out too bad. Friday was my day off. Jason and I spent the day together planning more wedding things. His parents bought us lunch. That was sweet. After that we got to meet with our cake lady. She is so awesome. I'm glad we picked her! We're getting a 3 layer white cake with raspberry filling and cream cheese frosting. It's going to be decorated in blue and white (of course, our happy wedding colors!) with red rose petals to surround it. Just the perfect "patriotic touch" for a July wedding. Then I decided, since it was payday, that I wanted to go shopping. We went to Walmart to spend a little. We actually ended up with centerpieces that we both loved for our reception. It's funny, because I've always been set on real flowers for everything, but Jason can even make fake flowers look good! It was awesome to get his ideas and my ideas in the same place. We bought those, just to check something else off the list. Jason even recommended that we put them together for our date night this week-- why not get it done and out of the way? I completely agree. :) That will be fun. I also found some work out clothes that I liked. I've been going to the gym quite a bit this week. Today I did the bicycles and my legs hurt so bad!! I'm trying to fit back into my wedding dress! Silly cakes and candies... making me workout. After my trip to the gym and a lovely cold shower, Jason and I got to go to his little brothers' Eagle Court of Honor. It was an amazing program. The bishopric spoke, Jason presented a slide show video (that was BEYOND GREAT!!), and lots of tears were shared. Very touching, all together. Things are really looking like they are coming together for us. His extended family were all very happy to see us and hear of our plans in July. Even his parents took the time to thank me for helping in the kitchen. The only thing is Jason is down to the bottom of the job barrel. He is even going to apply at Lagoon for this summer. He's worked there once before and hated it. But I know that he's willing to see our wedding through, even if it means Lagoon. He's so wonderful.Things have completely improved with him.Yay for moving forward... finally!

Wedding Planning!!

What a fun day off! I slept in until 9:30am. (I must have been a bit behind on sleep!) Then I called my honey to get him up for the day, but surprise!! He'd been up since 6am finishing a project so we could spend the day together. I was so thrilled. What a hunk! I made some appointments with the cake lady and the photographer. Then we left! We went to Aaron's jewelry first to make sure Jason was absolutely sold on the ring we'd picked out.He was, of course, so we ordered it in the right size. It should be ready to go next week. Yay!! Check that off the list. Then we went up Ogden canyon and toured the Alaskan Inn. It was very nice. I'd never been there, but heard wonderful things from my sisters. It's cheaper than the Anniversary Inn that we'd originally picked for our first night together. Not as far... still nice... I'm good. :) We picked a cabin that we both liked. So that will be awesome for July. On the way home we stopped at Sams to get an eat to bite. (ha, ha-- Tom Hanks.) We looked at the ring I had picked out there. We still love it, but how to fit it in an already impossible budget? No clue. We'll find something soon, I hope. After that we had a short meeting with my parents. I got a budget put together last night, so we discussed that and all the wedding plans. It went very well. My parents are just a little concerned with Jason being unemployed. I mean, who isn't? But other than that, they are very supportive and helpful. My dad has commented to me several times that I would be happier married. And you know something, he's right. Then Jason and I went to Salt Lake to meet Brody Dezember, a photographer we liked. He was wonderful to talk to and his work looks lovely. A bit pricey, but certainly worth every cent. The pictures and rings are the only things that go beyond the wedding day. I'm not willing to skimp out on those precious memories. There are two other couples looking at the same date we are, so hopefully we can get him booked this weekend!! (Silly paycheck, come faster!!) It was fun to get everything in order. We meet with the cake lady on Friday, and then it's just coming up with the deposits. Money, money, money. But everything is going to be so lovely. I can't wait!! Jason, I love you!

Happy St. Patricks Day!!

So when I opened my closet this morning I realized I had no green clothes. None. Nothing at all. My mom let me borrow her green shamrock earrings and I wore my class ring. (Thank Heavens for Clearfield High!!) It was pretty sneaky, but I never got pinched! Whoo! Work went very well, today I passed the most difficult test before my next level, teller test 3. I also got called in for a little chat with my branch manager. Opps. Last night I forgot to lock up my cork lock. Big mistake! It didn't go too badly though, just a small chat of how we could fix the problem. My sweet Jason took me out for lunch to celebrate my test. It was so fun to relax for a minute and eat. Last night was a big event for us. Jason and I talked with his parents about getting married. They seemed generally supportive, which is more than we were expecting at this point. They've never really gotten to point of "okay" with our engagement. So, hopefully things will continue to go well there. Jason and I decided not to do the Lion House for the ceremony or luncheon once we talked it over. We decided on something more simple-- skip the luncheon and just have a nice, quiet ceremony then a reception right after. No need to add fluff. Jason and I are just happy to be getting married. We can't wait! We're going to take more recent pictures for sure and I'm going to make my own bouquet. Then just the invites. Not too bad, for trying to keep it inexpensive! It's starting to look like maybe Disneyland will be out of the picture, too... We're going to be lucky to just get into an apartment. But as I said, Jason and I couldn't care less. It's going to be so wonderful to just be together. :) Jason turned in a promising application today that we're hoping to hear back from in two or three days. A job would certainly be a blessing!! Keep us in your prayers!

Eternal Families

Families can be together forever. That seems to have just been the theme of this weekend. Yesterday was wonderful. Jason and I spent the whole day together just window shopping. We found a ring setting at Sams Club that I ended up completely falling in love with. It's so funny, because I've seen it before, but it's never caught my attention as something I'd like. Jason wanted me to pull it out and try it on anyway. When I put it together with a solitaire diamond and tried it on... oh, my heck. It was breathtaking!! And TOTALLY perfect for me! (Go figure.) After that we stopped at a little jewelery shop on the way home, just to see what was there. We've looked everywhere for a ring Jason liked, but could never find something that was more than "okay". This little shop had really awesome stuff for men and we found one that was perfect. *smile* I was completely thrilled. The prices even turned out right! So, look for our rings in July!! Then last night Jason and I went out to dinner to celebrate my mom's birthday. All of my sisters and their husbands were there (a major feat in itself, considering we just got James home from Iraq and Devin is going active duty next week). This was the first time I actually felt "included" and not just the odd number out. Couple dinners are no fun when the table seats 9 and you're the odd duckling. We went to Ye Old Lion's Den in Ogden, a new place for Jason and me. The dinner was fairly pricey, but wonderfully done. Several courses, plenty of time, fabulous service! Even when Dad started changing up the seating our waiter didn't get too lost with who's dish was who's. Most importantly, it was nice for mom. She loved it. Today was also nice. Jason and I got to tour the new Draper temple. It was so lovely and special. The sealing rooms made me cry, the Spirit there was simply overwhelming. Everything was so beautiful and clean. I loved being able to be inside and my whole being ached to be able to return with Jason next year. I never thought I could feel so strongly compelled to accomplish something. It was amazing. So, all in all, a perfect weekend. I couldn't have asked for more.

Date Night

What an interesting day! I went in early to work, so I could get off in time to go to Disney on Ice with Jason. It was pretty good day with the members. Jason had a fun day playing daycare for Bandit. I hate leaving him locked up in his kennel when I work so much. My sister gave me an idea to have Jason watch him a few days a week, so we thought we'd try it. It seemed to go well. They both had fun. After my lunch break at work, our system went down. It's such a pain to hand-write receipts and everything. Then when I was going to balance out for the day, I found I couldn't! With the system down, the computer didn't have the information to verify my totals. So, I waited. And waited. I called Jason to tell him I was going to be late, and waited some more. Finally I was able to get everything done and clock out an hour after I was planning. Jason and I ran out the door, hot pockets in hand for dinner. We barely made it in time for the show. It was a really fun performance with lots of effects and talent. They did four shows in one- Lion King, Little Mermaid, Lilo and Stitch, and Peter Pan. They even had the skaters fly! Tink had fireworks in her wand, too! It was amazing! Jason thought I was a little silly, cheering and waving like all the little kids, but I still loved it. What a fun date night with my honey!
Our meeting with the stake president went well. He was pleased to hear of our plans to get married July 8. We just need to figure out how to get there and best prepare to go to the temple next year to be sealed. Jason was excited to have the support. Every little bit helps and builds our confidence to accomplish the tasks before us.

Sick Days

Oh, I hate being sick. Yesterday was awful. I woke up feeling sick to my stomach, but decided to ignore it and get some breakfast. I could only eat a few bites before I realized it would hurt more than help. I got dressed and ready thinking maybe a shower would be best. I went to work, still not feeling great. When I got there I tested myself out on my first few members, but realized I wasn't getting any better. I asked my lead teller if there was any way I could go home, but she said they were already short handed for the day. So I went back to my window and tried to keep a smile on. I helped a few more members, then ended up getting sick right there in my window. I hit the trash can, thank heavens, but it was so embarrassing! I went to the break room and laid down for a full half hour. My tummy was still upset and my lead teller finally sent me home. I took a tub for two hours in some nice hot water. That helped, but I still spent the rest of the day in bed. When I woke up this morning I felt a bit better, but still not great. I called in sick- not wanting to repeat the mistake I made yesterday. It was a good thing I did, because I still feel yucky. I've mostly just relaxed. My puppy hasn't been nearly as restful as I have, though. He has taken this new time to learn how to jump on my bed. (Which is a pretty big leap for him, even Lady won't do it.) It's been fun to watch. He never fails to put a smile on my face. It's so sweet that he still just wants to be with his momma, even when she's sick. He's been such a blessing for me.
Jason and I have a meeting with the stake president tonight, to present our plan of getting married in July. I'm a bit nervous, but I still feel confident that this is right for the two of us. I'm sure the stake president will feel that as well. It would certainly be better to progress than continue digging deeper. I just hope things will fall into place for that to become reality, rather than just a wish. Perhaps tonight will help.

Four Months and Counting!

Jason and I are counting down! Only four months left, starting today. Our families have been very helpful since we've decided on this new date. Having the support is wonderful. We're still searching for the perfect place to call home. We just want something small so we can save up for a house with a backyard for Bandit. We have certainly decided on Disneyland for a honeymoon. I can't wait for that! Jason's never been to Medieval Times, so we want to try that and Knott's Berry Farm as well. It will be so fun to get away together! We'll just have to fine someone to watch our puppy for a few days... I've also decided to set some new goals to prepare myself to be a better wife. First of all I'm going to start taking better care of the things I need to do for myself. I need to set aside time everyday to walk, play piano, and do a service. I used to do those things regularly, but I've been slacking since I started working full time at America First. Jason has three nights a week that he raids on WOW though, so I should be able to fit them in somehow. I also want to start cross stitching again. I've always wanted to display one for my wedding that I did myself. So I'd better get working on that! Jason and I have a busy week. Thursday night is our date night and we're going to see Disney on Ice in SLC. I'm so excited! I've always wanted to go but never had the chance! Is that silly? I'm so glad I have a honey that understands I'm a bit childish sometimes. Friday night is the big couple dinner for my Mom's birthday. I hope that turns out. My sister and I got into a big scuffle over it today. Lame. Drama just comes from living in a family of all girls. (Poor Daddy...) Saturday we get to spend with Jason's family to walk through the new temple. That will be a wonderful experience. So, lots of plans coming up! Wish us luck! And pray for our tax return to come back!!

Boring Normal Life...

I wish I had something more exciting to write about, but I don't really. Jason is doing much better as is my sister Wendi.
Work has been good this week- nothing too exciting there. I had a quick review with my lead teller today. She said I was doing well and all my work looked good. I always have things to work on, though... I'm taking my security test next week. So wish me luck on that!!
Bandit is still just as happy as ever. A few days ago I took him to Jason's house and let him explore around there. He loved every second. Jason's dad even bought him treats! Wasn't that sweet of him? He's going to make such an awesome grandpa. Bandit is scared to death of him, though. He has such a booming voice, Bandit runs away every time. They're so cute to watch. Jason's mom has it all figured out, though. She just feeds Bandit off the table. He's loved her ever since. So, that was a fun experiment to try.
Jason and I are great. Just still looking for a job and a place to stay come July. Jason has decided to wait another year to get back to school, rather than this fall. He wants to make sure we're on our feet with the wedding and everything before adding another load to our little family. We're also starting to price honeymoons to Disneyland (because we're saving the "real" honeymoon to Disneyworld for our temple sealing). They're a lot more than I want them to be. But I'm sure we'll find something. I think we've decided to get married in the Lion House and have a small luncheon for family after the ceremony. Then we'll do a reception that night at the Clearfield City Building, or my stake center. I'm so excited. It's turning out so wonderful... I don't think I've ever seen Jason so confident and sure. He even had a talk with his parents about us and our plans. They're generally supportive, which I know means a lot to him. Hopefully things will continue to progress there.
I'm getting anxious for the warmer weather, I've missed the sunshine. I'm certainly ready for it to be spring!
This week my family is celebrating my mom's birthday with a couples dinner on Friday night. Jason and I are excited about that. I got to plan it, so I'm just hoping everything goes smoothly. With two of my sisters driving down from Logan, sometimes that's not as easy as it sounds.
So life goes on and here we are!

Wendi's Eyes

I am surrounded by sickies!! My sister, Wendi, had PRK surgery last Monday. (That's kinda like LASIK.) My Mom was going to take her, but she had a headache that prevented her from driving. So I got to be the lucky one to come along. They let us stay with Wendi through the entire thing. We even watched the surgery on a TV just out in the hallway. I don't do very well with medical things, but I watched what my tummy could handle. They scraped off the top layer of her eye and then made corrections. It was yucky. She felt fine right after, but yesterday was difficult. James (Wendi's husband) came home from Iraq yesterday as well. So, I got to play taxi service again. Even though it was dark outside all the car lights and street lights hurt Wendi's eyes. She tried to cover them, but that made her motion sick. No good, no good... I tried to tell her to stay home and let me just pick up James. She wouldn't do it, though. When I first watched the procedure I thought I wouldn't be too bad. Maybe I should start saving for something like that. But after yesterday-- I'll stick to my contacts, thanks. When Tami (my other sister) had hers done, it took her about a month to fully recover. I hope Wendi makes it faster. James is home now, though, so that will certainly help. :) I love you, Wendi!! Best of Luck!!

So, good news!! Jason and I have finally set an official, guaranteed date for our wedding! We will be getting married July 8, 2009. Yes, it's a Wednesday, but it will be a fun date (07-08-09) and it will be good for my work schedule. No set plans on where or anything yet, but a date is certainly a step in the right direction! We are way excited to be moving forward with our relationship and with our lives. Jason is still actively looking for a job (while he's not on his crazy pain medicine for his tooth) and looking into getting back to college this fall or next Spring. I'm still planning to work for America First, depending on where we move for school. So, slap a smile on, Jason and Bonni are getting married!!