So, funny thing happened this morning. Jason and I woke up to this annoying "meow, moew, moew, moew, moew...." Jason took Bandit out for a walk and they saw a cat sitting on the sidewalk outside our building. I didn't think much of it, because I was running late and trying to get out the door to work as soon as possible. I was on my way to the car when the cat came right up to me and rubbed against my leg. I said, "Hey kitty, kitty... do you have a coller, baby?" No, of course not. No coller. I said, "Well, good luck, kitty." and headed to my car. The cat followed my every foot step and the second I opened my car door, he (if he WAS a he...)hopped right in. So I thought, well I'll turn on my engine and that will scare him out. I turned the key and before I even had a moment to think the cat jumped down on the floor where my heater was blowing and WOULD NOT move. I figured the poor thing was cold, of course, it's freezing outside. But what to do with the cat in my car? So I called Animal Control. They were closed. They only come out for strays Monday through Friday. Go figure. I ended up bringing him into my apartment and putting him in Bandit's big wired kenel. Jason contacted our apartment office, they don't have a list of pets on property. Again, go figure. You think they'd keep that information somewhere in a decent format... No. So it came down to let him go, or keep him until Monday for Animal Control. Jason and I talked it over, fed him some tuna, and decided that we're not really doing him a favor by keeping him all weekend. Animal Control is just going to put him down once they get him. So we let him sleep for an hour or so, and sent him on is way! Bye Bye kitty! It was such an interesting morning. I was a half hour late for work. Just crazy. Moral of the story-- Never talk to cats.
On another note, Jason and I had our six month anniversary on the 8th. He took me to a fantastic steak dinner at Timbermine. It was so fun to talk about what we remembered from our wedding and how the last six months have gone. It was so romantic. Happy Anniversary, my love!!
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Happy New Year!!
We made it! 2009 is over! What a fun year it's been. So much as happened... and yet we get to start over with new goals and new memories.
The holidays went so well for our little family. Our first Christmas and New Years together was so wonderful. Christmas morning we stayed home and opened presents just the three of us. Jason and I got some small things from each other, then some amazing things from our families. My parents got us a wii and Jason's parents got us a headboard for our bed that matched our other furniture. We went to visit the families and thank them. After that James and my sister Wendi treated Jason and I to a Christmas movie. The theater was packed, and even though we came a half hour early to get tickets they were sold out. We bought tickets for the next showing and began waiting in line. We were the third group into the theater and got awesome seats right in the center. We saw Sherlock Holmes. Jason and I really enjoyed it, but James and Wendi didn't as much. I guess it ruined the books. I'd never read them, so I thought the movie itself was great. It was a great and busy Christmas.
Then of course New Years was right around the corner. Jason and I went to his family's fondue party on New Years Eve. They always do an awesome meal that's really fun. They have fondue pots that are filled with oil and then you cook your own meat. Then everyone plays games and laughs. We stayed there until I was so tired I couldn't see straight. Then we went to my family to say a quick hello. They had fireworks and silly string all over once midnight hit! It was way fun. Then Jason and I headed home to our little apartment to catch some snoozing until it was time to get up and party some more. This year for New Years Day we decided to do another movie. We invited my Mom and Dad, which turned out really fun. We skipped out on the Layton crowd and went to see Avatar in IMAX 3d at Jordan Commons. We went to the first showing at 11:30am, but it was still completely sold out! Good thing I remembered to pick up tickets the night before! We were on the 2nd row, but it wasn't too bad. I still felt like we had awesome seats. The movie had some awesome graphics and a good story. It was worth seeing. After the movie we went to Chuck a Ramma and ate some lunch. It was fun to eat everything we wanted and talk about the movie. Nice and relaxed kind of holiday.
Jason and I were able to talk about some goals we have and set some new ones for 2010. We decided to read our scriptures and pray every night together. That was one we've worked on since we got married, but it's nice to continue pushing the small things. Next was of course supporting Jason in joining the military. He's decided to sign on to the marines as soon as he can make weight. He's already lost 20-30 pounds, but he needs to continue pressing on. If he keeps loosing as much as he is, he'll be ready to sign on in the first week of April. Our lease ends the end of April, so that's cutting it kinda close. But he's hoping to kick it up (even more) and make weight by the first of March. Lots of work to be done! We've also decided to get out of debt, including the $13000.00 I still owe on my car, and start saving for a house. We've decided to wait to have children until we can be in a more stable living situation- house and income to support it. Jason and I also want to travel a bit before starting up the family. Since he's joining the military that won't be an issue at all! Marines are all based on the coasts. So we couldn't stay here very long, anyway. Other than that, we hope to be able to get our educations back up and running. Jason's still doing a few online classes, but my financial aid was cut until I can pass two classes on my own dollar. Which I can't do at this point. The military has some awesome programs to help pay for education, so hopefully that will help. Lots of goals to be working on. :)
(Megan did this awesome thing on her blog where she listed some things from 2009 that had happened. I thought it was such a good idea I wanted to do one, too!) 2009 was a great year- We had some big things happen including...
* We got married, of course! July 8th. Our 6 month anniversary is this Friday.
* We said farewell to our sweet Lady puppy that passed away July 23. We buried her in Keri's backyard and cried a lot. She will certainly be missed. She was a special member of our family for many years.
* We sent Trenton out on a mission to Cape Verde Africa in January. He's nearly half way through now!
* Tyler went through basic training for the National Guard and made it out alive!
* Dallin hit his one year mark for his mission this year in May. He's serving in Korea. He'll be home in 5 months.
* Jason and I both went through a semester of school at Weber.
* Jason insists that I put that I started to play World of Warcraft on here. Guess it was a big event for him.
* This is the first year since I graduated from high school that I've only worked one place. America First.
* Daddy got a new puppy, Daisi, that certainly keeps us all on our toes.
* I changed jobs from tellering to member service. I also got a pay raise for the move.
* We had Crystal and Jeff visit us for a few weeks in the summer. It was so wonderful to see them!
* We finally got a wii!
Hooray! We're looking forward to a great year in 2010. Thanks to everyone for being such wonderful friends and family! We couldn't have made this past year such a good one without you!
The holidays went so well for our little family. Our first Christmas and New Years together was so wonderful. Christmas morning we stayed home and opened presents just the three of us. Jason and I got some small things from each other, then some amazing things from our families. My parents got us a wii and Jason's parents got us a headboard for our bed that matched our other furniture. We went to visit the families and thank them. After that James and my sister Wendi treated Jason and I to a Christmas movie. The theater was packed, and even though we came a half hour early to get tickets they were sold out. We bought tickets for the next showing and began waiting in line. We were the third group into the theater and got awesome seats right in the center. We saw Sherlock Holmes. Jason and I really enjoyed it, but James and Wendi didn't as much. I guess it ruined the books. I'd never read them, so I thought the movie itself was great. It was a great and busy Christmas.
Then of course New Years was right around the corner. Jason and I went to his family's fondue party on New Years Eve. They always do an awesome meal that's really fun. They have fondue pots that are filled with oil and then you cook your own meat. Then everyone plays games and laughs. We stayed there until I was so tired I couldn't see straight. Then we went to my family to say a quick hello. They had fireworks and silly string all over once midnight hit! It was way fun. Then Jason and I headed home to our little apartment to catch some snoozing until it was time to get up and party some more. This year for New Years Day we decided to do another movie. We invited my Mom and Dad, which turned out really fun. We skipped out on the Layton crowd and went to see Avatar in IMAX 3d at Jordan Commons. We went to the first showing at 11:30am, but it was still completely sold out! Good thing I remembered to pick up tickets the night before! We were on the 2nd row, but it wasn't too bad. I still felt like we had awesome seats. The movie had some awesome graphics and a good story. It was worth seeing. After the movie we went to Chuck a Ramma and ate some lunch. It was fun to eat everything we wanted and talk about the movie. Nice and relaxed kind of holiday.
Jason and I were able to talk about some goals we have and set some new ones for 2010. We decided to read our scriptures and pray every night together. That was one we've worked on since we got married, but it's nice to continue pushing the small things. Next was of course supporting Jason in joining the military. He's decided to sign on to the marines as soon as he can make weight. He's already lost 20-30 pounds, but he needs to continue pressing on. If he keeps loosing as much as he is, he'll be ready to sign on in the first week of April. Our lease ends the end of April, so that's cutting it kinda close. But he's hoping to kick it up (even more) and make weight by the first of March. Lots of work to be done! We've also decided to get out of debt, including the $13000.00 I still owe on my car, and start saving for a house. We've decided to wait to have children until we can be in a more stable living situation- house and income to support it. Jason and I also want to travel a bit before starting up the family. Since he's joining the military that won't be an issue at all! Marines are all based on the coasts. So we couldn't stay here very long, anyway. Other than that, we hope to be able to get our educations back up and running. Jason's still doing a few online classes, but my financial aid was cut until I can pass two classes on my own dollar. Which I can't do at this point. The military has some awesome programs to help pay for education, so hopefully that will help. Lots of goals to be working on. :)
(Megan did this awesome thing on her blog where she listed some things from 2009 that had happened. I thought it was such a good idea I wanted to do one, too!) 2009 was a great year- We had some big things happen including...
* We got married, of course! July 8th. Our 6 month anniversary is this Friday.
* We said farewell to our sweet Lady puppy that passed away July 23. We buried her in Keri's backyard and cried a lot. She will certainly be missed. She was a special member of our family for many years.
* We sent Trenton out on a mission to Cape Verde Africa in January. He's nearly half way through now!
* Tyler went through basic training for the National Guard and made it out alive!
* Dallin hit his one year mark for his mission this year in May. He's serving in Korea. He'll be home in 5 months.
* Jason and I both went through a semester of school at Weber.
* Jason insists that I put that I started to play World of Warcraft on here. Guess it was a big event for him.
* This is the first year since I graduated from high school that I've only worked one place. America First.
* Daddy got a new puppy, Daisi, that certainly keeps us all on our toes.
* I changed jobs from tellering to member service. I also got a pay raise for the move.
* We had Crystal and Jeff visit us for a few weeks in the summer. It was so wonderful to see them!
* We finally got a wii!
Hooray! We're looking forward to a great year in 2010. Thanks to everyone for being such wonderful friends and family! We couldn't have made this past year such a good one without you!
Monday, December 21, 2009
Well, the good news is...
I wasn't sick for my birthday this year. That's a first. The bad news you ask? Being sick for Christmas! For the past few days I've had this tickle in the back of my throat. It made my voice sounds kinda funny in the mornings, but I was okay after I showered and got ready. This morning, though-- it never got better. I woke up with my eyes glued shut with goobers, my nose running and my voice completely hoarse. I DID go to work. I totally thought about calling in, but Jason convinced me it was worth a shot to go and try it out. I went, took an hour and a half worth of calls,then asked to go home. My voice and throat got worse and worse the more I forced it to talk. I came home to my wonderful husband, who brought me cafe rio and heated corn bags for me every hour. He was so good. Though I wasn't awake through most of it- I was just so wiped out I slept a lot of the day. Joy, joy.
Isn't it funny that when you feel the worst is when you have the most things to do? Tomorrow we're going out with Jason's family to dinner and to see Princess and the Frog. I was so looking forward to seeing it! I hope we can still go!!
At least I have most of my gifts wrapped and ready. Our first Christmas married! I can hardly believe it! Our tree is up and so cute (and so crowded in our tiny apartment)! We have a few little presents, nothing huge, but it's kinda nice to have a little something.
Our Bandit puppy got spoiled the most, I think! Funny how that works, uh? Our silly puppy has a cute little gray spot in the very middle of his back that's coming in darker and darker every day. Soon enough He'll have another spot! It seems like as he gets older he gets more spots! Now when we get him wet for his tubs he looks more like a Pongo than a Bandit! Ha ha ha!
Well, Merry Christmas everyone! I hope the week goes well for you and yours.
Isn't it funny that when you feel the worst is when you have the most things to do? Tomorrow we're going out with Jason's family to dinner and to see Princess and the Frog. I was so looking forward to seeing it! I hope we can still go!!
At least I have most of my gifts wrapped and ready. Our first Christmas married! I can hardly believe it! Our tree is up and so cute (and so crowded in our tiny apartment)! We have a few little presents, nothing huge, but it's kinda nice to have a little something.
Our Bandit puppy got spoiled the most, I think! Funny how that works, uh? Our silly puppy has a cute little gray spot in the very middle of his back that's coming in darker and darker every day. Soon enough He'll have another spot! It seems like as he gets older he gets more spots! Now when we get him wet for his tubs he looks more like a Pongo than a Bandit! Ha ha ha!
Well, Merry Christmas everyone! I hope the week goes well for you and yours.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
One year older and wiser, too...
Happy Birthday, to you! (My sweet and wonderful Jason, that is!) We had such a fun time! We got to have a party with Jason's family the day before he's actual birthday. We ate cake and shared stories. Jason got a new Cabella's jacket and lots of money! Okay, lots to me, anyway! It was fun to see and talk with everyone. Then I took off the day of his birthday so we could party just the two of us. He got to sleep in (the lucky duck!) but I had a final... or at least, so I thought! When I got there I found out they had moved it to Wednesday morning. So home again, home again lickedy split! I made Jason a bowl of cereal and brought it to him in bed. He laughed and laughed that I couldn't even make breakfast! But who can say no to cereal?? C'mon now, I know what pleases! After that we played some video games and got ready for the day. Nice and relaxed. Then we went to sell back our school books-- happy finals week!! We spent about 500.00 and got a little under 200.00 back. Whatever. It's nice to have a little bit! We went out to Olive Garden for lunch, because they have such WONDERFUL soup, salad and bread sticks! We got to just laugh and talk. Afterwards I even got Jason to do a bit of Christmas shopping with me! But after all that it was time to relax again. We need to have lots of time to relax, I decided!! So we rented a red box movie and chilled at home on the couch for a bit. Once our tummies started growling we got in touch with my parents and decided to go out to Dragon Hill. Yummy yummy Chinese food!! My sister Wendi even came, too. We all had fun trying to figure out how they got a carrot into the shape of a flower! My parents gave Jason a new Star Trek ornament for our tree! (Except... it doesn't really match my theme... maybe he'll have to get his own tree next year!) Since we're such night owls, after dinner we rented another red box and watched that until early morning hours. Such a great day!
It feels like we have so much to celebrate this time of year, Christmas and the joy that comes with it- birthdays and New Years to set new goals for ourselves. So much happiness.
Speaking of happiness... Jason and I have been married five months today. I can't even believe it! Sometimes it feels like we've just always been married. But then others I still wake up next to him and think, "When did I ever get so lucky?" It's fun to think this is the time of year I wanted to get married-- sometime before Christmas in December. Everything seems so much prettier with the lights and snow. And here I am, able to enjoy it with my honey! :) Ahhh....
It feels like we have so much to celebrate this time of year, Christmas and the joy that comes with it- birthdays and New Years to set new goals for ourselves. So much happiness.
Speaking of happiness... Jason and I have been married five months today. I can't even believe it! Sometimes it feels like we've just always been married. But then others I still wake up next to him and think, "When did I ever get so lucky?" It's fun to think this is the time of year I wanted to get married-- sometime before Christmas in December. Everything seems so much prettier with the lights and snow. And here I am, able to enjoy it with my honey! :) Ahhh....
Friday, November 27, 2009
Thanksgiving... with goals in mind
What a Thanksgiving! Jason and I had such a wonderful day, our first Thanksgiving has husband and wife!! We decided to spend odd numbered years at my family and even numbered years at his- so, 2009 was my family! We went up to Logan to my sisters house and had a great time. The food was wonderful (espesially the ham!) and the company was even better. Everyone watched the National Dog Show before dinner, commenting on how cute all the puppies were. Then there was lots of fun games to play after dinner. My Dad had all of his children play bingo to win corn bags for thier families. Jason and I won 6! They will certainly come in handy since we're trying to not turn on our heat yet! (saving that money!!) We also got to play "Ticket to Ride" and sing along with the Beatles on wii. It was a fun and long day.
It was also nice to just sit and talk to Jason on the hour drive home. We've been talking a lot about how to get him a job. No one seems to be hiring, and even when they are, Jason is "unquailified". But we'll need two paychecks coming in once our lease ends on our apartment, or we're going to be dead in the water. Jason's been taking a serious look at joining the military. We talked a lot about that. It would certainly help us with lots of benefits (including free college and a great paycheck), but at the cost of Jason being away for months at a time. But I think it will be worth it. The question then becomes, how to get him to the weight limit so he can enlist? We've been looking at gyms and diets. It's certainly going to be a challenge, but one that will pay off in the end.
Once we got home I decided I didn't want to just sit there, so I decided to sit at a movie theatre! Jason (graciously) allowed us to go see 'New Moon', since he ditched me the last weekend! His little brother just 'happened' to throw a party on the same night I had tickets. So he went to his party and I took my sister to 'New Moon'. That was fun, but it was still certainly something I wanted to share with my honey. We sat on the very front row, which wasn't too bad. I actually liked it.
I have so much to be grateful for, and this Thanksgiving has thrown that all into perspective. It's always good to count your blessings and rememeber the things we easily take for granted.
Now, bring on Christmas!!
It was also nice to just sit and talk to Jason on the hour drive home. We've been talking a lot about how to get him a job. No one seems to be hiring, and even when they are, Jason is "unquailified". But we'll need two paychecks coming in once our lease ends on our apartment, or we're going to be dead in the water. Jason's been taking a serious look at joining the military. We talked a lot about that. It would certainly help us with lots of benefits (including free college and a great paycheck), but at the cost of Jason being away for months at a time. But I think it will be worth it. The question then becomes, how to get him to the weight limit so he can enlist? We've been looking at gyms and diets. It's certainly going to be a challenge, but one that will pay off in the end.
Once we got home I decided I didn't want to just sit there, so I decided to sit at a movie theatre! Jason (graciously) allowed us to go see 'New Moon', since he ditched me the last weekend! His little brother just 'happened' to throw a party on the same night I had tickets. So he went to his party and I took my sister to 'New Moon'. That was fun, but it was still certainly something I wanted to share with my honey. We sat on the very front row, which wasn't too bad. I actually liked it.
I have so much to be grateful for, and this Thanksgiving has thrown that all into perspective. It's always good to count your blessings and rememeber the things we easily take for granted.
Now, bring on Christmas!!
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Happy Birthday!
to me, that is!
Yup, Bonni is officially 22 years old now. Amazing how the time flies, considering I feel like I just graduated from high school! Ha!
It was a great birth-week. We celebrated the entire time. On Sunday (the 8th, my actual birthday) I got tons of birthday wishes on facebook and a "happy birthday" every half hour from my husband. Jason and I went to church in the morning. It was a wonderful gift to have a new ward, since this is the first time Jason and I have stayed for the entire block since we moved in! Everyone was really nice. I got to introduce myself in Relief Society and we even said hi to the bishop. After church it was time for a quick nap. Then over to my sisters for an early Thanksgiving dinner. That was so much fun. It made me truly realize how lucky I am to have the greatest family ever. Everyone came, there was some great food, some good jokes and some silly pictures.
On Wednesday I had a paid holiday for Veterans Day. My sisters and I all went out to Texas Roadhouse for dinner! It was so much fun to be with all the girls! I got some new Mary Kay stuff, the Richard Paul Evans book for this year, and New Moon tickets!! They know me so well. I love my sisters. :)
Then Saturday I took some time off to spend with Jason's side of the family. They took us out for a play at Hale called 'Curtains'. It was a fun mystery and it had a lot of really good jokes for anyone that's been in theater. So funny! We enjoyed a yummy dinner at Sweet Tomatoes. It was fun to visit with everyone. Then afterward Jason and I hit the town until 8pm when we went to a concert. (Jason's birthday gift) We saw the Utah Symphony perform in "Bravo Broadway". They brought in singers from Broadway to sing the parts and the symphony was of course, amazing! It was a wonderful date night out with my honey!
So a nice long week. I've been feeling better about everything going on. Sometimes we just have to live through those rough spots! School is getting better- I'm working my tail off to make sure I pass. I've decided that's all I need to ask of my education- to pass. Trying to finish up the semester on a strong note. Everything is going well. :)
I've been considering buying myself a camera for a birthday/Christmas gift to myself. Jason and I have put up our tree and I've had so many fun things happen the last few weeks-- I want to take pictures! Bandit is so cute in his little winter sweater... all those kinds of things. If only I could find one I wanted...
Yup, Bonni is officially 22 years old now. Amazing how the time flies, considering I feel like I just graduated from high school! Ha!
It was a great birth-week. We celebrated the entire time. On Sunday (the 8th, my actual birthday) I got tons of birthday wishes on facebook and a "happy birthday" every half hour from my husband. Jason and I went to church in the morning. It was a wonderful gift to have a new ward, since this is the first time Jason and I have stayed for the entire block since we moved in! Everyone was really nice. I got to introduce myself in Relief Society and we even said hi to the bishop. After church it was time for a quick nap. Then over to my sisters for an early Thanksgiving dinner. That was so much fun. It made me truly realize how lucky I am to have the greatest family ever. Everyone came, there was some great food, some good jokes and some silly pictures.
On Wednesday I had a paid holiday for Veterans Day. My sisters and I all went out to Texas Roadhouse for dinner! It was so much fun to be with all the girls! I got some new Mary Kay stuff, the Richard Paul Evans book for this year, and New Moon tickets!! They know me so well. I love my sisters. :)
Then Saturday I took some time off to spend with Jason's side of the family. They took us out for a play at Hale called 'Curtains'. It was a fun mystery and it had a lot of really good jokes for anyone that's been in theater. So funny! We enjoyed a yummy dinner at Sweet Tomatoes. It was fun to visit with everyone. Then afterward Jason and I hit the town until 8pm when we went to a concert. (Jason's birthday gift) We saw the Utah Symphony perform in "Bravo Broadway". They brought in singers from Broadway to sing the parts and the symphony was of course, amazing! It was a wonderful date night out with my honey!
So a nice long week. I've been feeling better about everything going on. Sometimes we just have to live through those rough spots! School is getting better- I'm working my tail off to make sure I pass. I've decided that's all I need to ask of my education- to pass. Trying to finish up the semester on a strong note. Everything is going well. :)
I've been considering buying myself a camera for a birthday/Christmas gift to myself. Jason and I have put up our tree and I've had so many fun things happen the last few weeks-- I want to take pictures! Bandit is so cute in his little winter sweater... all those kinds of things. If only I could find one I wanted...
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Difficulties
*sigh*... Where to begin?
Everything is seeming so stressful and overwhelming. But I can't pin point why. I'm just barely getting back my willingness to do school. (Thank you everyone that commented, btw. All the support certainly helps!) It still isn't easy to do, though. I haven't been as excited about work as I once was, though I was just awarded "Employee of the Month" yesterday. Even my family life is a bit, depressed. Nothing with Jason, if anything he has been my saving grace the last few days. But my birthday is coming up this weekend and trying to plan anything with my family has been stressful.
I've been kinda wanting to make the beaded watch bands that I've seen around. I've made them before at a work shop where the lady had everything and we just paid her for whatever we used. It was way fun, but to make three bands I spent over 80.00. It was a bit pricey. So for my birthday my sister wanted us to buy our own stuff and make them. So this week I went shopping. I took Amanda (Jason's little sister) with me. She likes crafty things and she wants to learn how to make the watch bands, too. I've been trying to build a relationship with her since I married Jason. She only has brothers in her family and she kinda needs a "girl outlet". I remember when I was younger what a relief my sisters were to me. I want to be that for Amanda. So we went out. She didn't have any money, of course, I never had any when I was in high school, either. I told her I would pay. Beads can't really be that much, right? Not. By the time I bought everything we needed, the beads she picked and the beads I picked, it was over 100.00. Holy crap. I had the money, so I went ahead and bought them. Then I went home and cried. Jason and I hardly ever get extra money and I know how stressed he can be about what I spend. I was lucky to have an extra paycheck in October to have a bit left over, but this certainly wasn't what I wanted to spend it all on. Jason actually shocked me by being completely fine with it. He said, "I just want you happy, Bonni." But the whole thing has still put me on edge. Now I'm not even so sure it's worth it to have them. I took back some of the beads I picked out today. I don't dare take back any of Amanda's things. I did tell her I would pay for them. I just didn't expect it to be so much.
So there's that. But it's everything else, too. Not just one situation. Everything is just piling on, piling on, and piling on. I feel buried alive.
Jason and I talked a bit today about it. Jason repeated his famous line, "I just want you happy." But followed it with, "what WOULD make you happy, Bonni? What is it that's wrong?". And that right there is just the point. Nothings wrong. I'm happily married, Jason has been more than wonderful to me. I have everything I need and a little extra. I'm going to school, working... I should be fine. I'm not feeling very pretty at the moment- I actually GAINED weight for my first week on weight watchers which totally shot my motivation there, and I've been wanting to get my hair done for a while. I've been feeling a bit frumpy. But that shouldn't been effecting me like this, should it?
I don't know. I want Cafe Rio. Comfort food. Seems like it's the only thing that helps. Even at that it helps for... a day? Maybe? And the clouds come rolling back.
What's wrong with me?!
Everything is seeming so stressful and overwhelming. But I can't pin point why. I'm just barely getting back my willingness to do school. (Thank you everyone that commented, btw. All the support certainly helps!) It still isn't easy to do, though. I haven't been as excited about work as I once was, though I was just awarded "Employee of the Month" yesterday. Even my family life is a bit, depressed. Nothing with Jason, if anything he has been my saving grace the last few days. But my birthday is coming up this weekend and trying to plan anything with my family has been stressful.
I've been kinda wanting to make the beaded watch bands that I've seen around. I've made them before at a work shop where the lady had everything and we just paid her for whatever we used. It was way fun, but to make three bands I spent over 80.00. It was a bit pricey. So for my birthday my sister wanted us to buy our own stuff and make them. So this week I went shopping. I took Amanda (Jason's little sister) with me. She likes crafty things and she wants to learn how to make the watch bands, too. I've been trying to build a relationship with her since I married Jason. She only has brothers in her family and she kinda needs a "girl outlet". I remember when I was younger what a relief my sisters were to me. I want to be that for Amanda. So we went out. She didn't have any money, of course, I never had any when I was in high school, either. I told her I would pay. Beads can't really be that much, right? Not. By the time I bought everything we needed, the beads she picked and the beads I picked, it was over 100.00. Holy crap. I had the money, so I went ahead and bought them. Then I went home and cried. Jason and I hardly ever get extra money and I know how stressed he can be about what I spend. I was lucky to have an extra paycheck in October to have a bit left over, but this certainly wasn't what I wanted to spend it all on. Jason actually shocked me by being completely fine with it. He said, "I just want you happy, Bonni." But the whole thing has still put me on edge. Now I'm not even so sure it's worth it to have them. I took back some of the beads I picked out today. I don't dare take back any of Amanda's things. I did tell her I would pay for them. I just didn't expect it to be so much.
So there's that. But it's everything else, too. Not just one situation. Everything is just piling on, piling on, and piling on. I feel buried alive.
Jason and I talked a bit today about it. Jason repeated his famous line, "I just want you happy." But followed it with, "what WOULD make you happy, Bonni? What is it that's wrong?". And that right there is just the point. Nothings wrong. I'm happily married, Jason has been more than wonderful to me. I have everything I need and a little extra. I'm going to school, working... I should be fine. I'm not feeling very pretty at the moment- I actually GAINED weight for my first week on weight watchers which totally shot my motivation there, and I've been wanting to get my hair done for a while. I've been feeling a bit frumpy. But that shouldn't been effecting me like this, should it?
I don't know. I want Cafe Rio. Comfort food. Seems like it's the only thing that helps. Even at that it helps for... a day? Maybe? And the clouds come rolling back.
What's wrong with me?!
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